Jennifer Eifrig, Author
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S-E-X: Writing and Reading

8/13/2012

6 Comments

 
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There's nothing like a taboo topic to get people interested, right? So why do some writers shy away from including sex in their novels and stories, even when a) it's not gratuitous; and b) it's logical and appropriate for the plot and character development?

The answer to this question, IMHO, really depends on the how and whether the individual author feels comfortable about turning the spotlight onto this side of his/her human experience. The old adage is "write what you know," right? So, in many ways the writer is drawing on his/her own knowledge of and experience with this most personal and intimate of human interactions. Do we really want to bare ourselves (literally, in this case) in such a way? What if our mother-in-law reads the scene? Will she look at us funny forever after?

Then, too, there's the question of performance anxiety. As I noted in my last post, writers are inherently competitive. I remember being slightly offended when another author who was critiquing my MSS thought the sex "wasn't all that hot" (really? what would it take to turn this person on, one wonders). No doubt about it, a lousy sex scene can really sink a book. Boring, hum drum, coy, prudish, weird, and saccharine are all dreadful possibilities if you don't get it right. Eek. No pressure.

Then there's the question of satisfying the reader. Does he/she like it hot? Or is he/she the type who prefers intimations over intimacy? How much do you put on stage, as it were, and how much takes place behind closed doors that the reader never gets to open? Is the reader going to feel unsatisfied or overindulged? What's the sweet spot (no, the metaphor refers to a tennis racket. Really) where good taste and good fun combine?

Really, it's a lot to consider, and I'm not even going to tackle the questions of personal morality, religiosity, inhibitions, and cultural norms. The author's walking a tightrope above all of these. No wonder many have such a hard time when it comes to engineering our characters' romantic lives. 

Here's the thing, though: sex is part of what makes us human. Pretending it doesn't exist doesn't work, either from a family planning perspective or from the novelist's. I'm not saying it should be in every book, any more than there should be a fire-breathing giant spider in every book (as much as I'd like to insert such a monster in some boring stories). I'm just saying that neither the reader nor the writer should make a hard and fast rule about either including or excluding it. If it's right for the story, it should be there. If it doesn't move the action, plot, or tension along, it's in the way. (I'm assuming, by the way, that we're not talking about erotica, which has its own conventions.) When it's done right, it feels genuine, emotionally engaging, and logical all at the same time.

Tall order? You bet. Have you done it? No, I mean, have you written sex in fiction? (Sheesh.) What worked and what didn't. I'd love to hear. Peace.

6 Comments
Scathe meic Beorh link
8/13/2012 01:29:42 pm

I don't include it because it's the most sacred act known and should not be spoken of.

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Paul Freeman link
8/13/2012 07:37:32 pm

Good questions, Jennifer. I do include it in my stories. It happens in real life and very often there are other reasons sex is used other than simply for the act itself. It can be about exercising power or dominance. Used as a weapon or tool of war. It does not necessarily mean you have to be graphic about the ins and outs (pun intended) of the act. But I think it is important, in the same way bad things happen to good people in real life, bad things happen to good people in the stories I write.

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Virginia Jennings link
8/16/2012 12:48:25 am

I think the WAY you write in personal interactions with any characters tells a lot about who you are as a person. :) If you are naturally a shy coy person than that will be illustrated in your characters interactions too. If you have a hidden wild side- then even that will leak through. It does not matter if you are writing sex scenes or not it will leak through. Me personally I like to keep a little to the imagination, I'm a conservative person. So I'd probably write about the date... the walk up the sidewalk... maybe some flirting but once the characters cross a line it would be curtains down and prep for scene 2 ;)

Every writer has that invisible line... if the writer doesn't than I am certain most story lines do ;)

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Virginia Jennings link
8/16/2012 12:49:07 am

awesome post by the way! ;)

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Richard S. Fink
8/16/2012 02:29:21 am

If my characters have sex, I don't shy away from writing it. But the tone must match the tome -- detailed descriptions in erotica, shadows on the wall in noir, mostly offscreen if it isn't critical to characterization or plot.

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Evan link
3/6/2021 03:51:24 am

Awesome blog you have herre

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    Jen Eifrig

    is a Christian urban fantasy author by night and a mother and non-profit consultant by day.

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